One of the many frustrations of being stuck in bed for too many years due to complications of lyme disease is my inability (and lack of energy) to participate in the world at large. It is far too easy to get down and to see everything as half empty. After a while living life as if it were a tragedy, it isn’t very much fun and even becomes somewhat self-fulfilling. As I have often said to my family, “don’t see walls, make windows.” For anyone, everything in life can seem like it is too much to bear and to overcome, but there is always a way to see it through. Even if my situation doesn’t change, my attitude toward life and everyday challenges can be positive, and a blessing to others. As God sustains me each day in my own situation, I can bring people and experiences to me!
I love winter! Of course, many Torontonians would say that I wouldn’t love it so much if I had to bundle up, shovel snow, and drive in it….. But no, I used to love that too! I can see the snow coming down and sitting on the spruce outside my second story windows, but I can’t see it on the ground. What I can do is see snowflakes inside my room! My daughter Catherine made some beautiful six-pointed snowflakes, with some assistance from Erin and Kristine. Apparently this is not the usual straightforward way of making snowflakes. The results were beautiful, and my room now has a permanent winter view, even when the blinds are closed.
I can’t get out to see family and friends, but as my energy allows, I can welcome people in to see me. The encouragement and help we have received from others has been overwhelming.
I can’t go out to see a show or to the theatre, but I can enjoy the classic movies of the last century on the Turner Classic Movies channel.
I can’t easily keep in touch with family, friends and the world, but I can use my laptop for email, web connections, RSS news feeds, etc…
I can’t hold and read physical books, but I can download and read ebooks on my old Palm. My favourite genres are Science Fiction and Global Sustainability. I am currently reading the sci fi novel “Echo” by Jack McDevitt and have been reading “Hot, Flat, and Crowded” by Thomas L. Friedman, and “The End of Poverty” by Jeffrey D. Sachs.
I can’t be an educator any more, but I can still help educate. I help my family with budgets, math, school work, decisions, goals, values, priorities, computer issues, and so on. And I can still help friends with technical and computer questions. I try to help others avoid getting lyme disease, and also connect with those who are now struggling with it and can’t get any help and don’t know what to do.
There is always a window, even in the darkest times. There are many things which I cannot do, but there are many things for which I can advocate, and concerns which can be expressed. I am concerned about the spread of lyme disease, especially as it is driven by climate changes which are only now beginning to seriously impact our lives here on Earth. I am concerned about the many thousands who get lyme disease every year and get to watch their own freefall, oblivious as to what is happening. I am concerned about ideological battles which distract us from the quickly encroaching issues of poverty, homelessness, drought, economic disparity, sustainable energy development and deployment, etc… I am concerned about the priorities which nations and peoples often hold, whereby personal convenience, wealth and power take ever increasing precedence over community and global citizenship and the future sustainability of our world and its species. Each of these issues has a solution. My own issues have solutions as well. Sometimes the solutions involve how best to manage where we find ourselves, but a positive and prayerful attitude combined with effort can make all the difference. Continue to think of me, for I am seeing some slow and encouraging improvements 🙂
